Oh, this is precious

"Here's the unmentionable secret, racism isn't that big a deal anymore," said new White House pick for press secretary, Tony Snow on Fox News Sunday in October 2003. (link to story)

Well I'm glad he's over it! Unfortunately, people still think I'm my son's nanny and my brothers still get followed in drug stores while buying cold medicine. Ah the Republicans. You gotta give it to them on utter misunderstanding.

Georgia on My Mind

I spent last weekend in Georgia with family and realized what makes me so uncomfortable there. No, it's not the long list of dishes whose main ingredients are cheddar cheese and Doritos. It's the fact that things like malls and shopping centers are called "Plantation" this and "Plantation" that. They throw the word "plantation" around as if it just meant "a lovely piece of land". Whenever I hear it, I feel the sting of the whip. And every time I saw a poplar tree I heard the song "Strange Fruit" in my head.

Maybe there's such a thing as generational post traumatic stress disorder. Maybe I've watched Roots too many times.

The second to last time we visited family in Georgia, we got a speeding ticket and the cop informed us that if there was a next time within the year, my husband would be thrown in jail due to some non-reciprocality law. Georgia makes me nervous. Really nervous. But I love my family enough to risk being lynched.

Calling Card

This is an art piece called "Calling Card" created by Adrian Piper, a woman who I should have known about a long time ago.

I wish I had this piece of art last week at a friend's birthday party. Let me give you the details.

I generally assume my friends and acquaintances are educated, well-informed people with class, or at least smooth enough to make other people think they are. But I am starting to doubt. I will not use names, just to protect you people, but you know who you are.

Anyway, I was sitting, talking to a friend who is also a mother and who I admire, when a male acquaintance swooped down on us uttering "What up, dog?" I burst into laughter. The acquaintance, who is blond, started in with,"What? Is it because a white boy is talking black?" to which I was forced to reply, "Actually I still don't understand the term 'dog'. I went to private school. We didn't learn slang." Everyone around us immediately joined me in laughter as the sad ignorant fellow sort of slunk into himself, embarrassed. The thing that got me is that I've had conversations with that guy before. What made him do that? Was he trying to impress my friend? I should have passed him a calling card.

But it doesn't end there. Another acquaintance, who is involved in the creation of broadcast media on the national level, and who kind of knows me well, said to me as I was leaving the party with my son, who had acquired a nasty case of pink eye during the evening: "I didn't think black people got pink eye."

WHAT???!!!

My husband summed it up perfectly. He said, "That is the single stupidest thing I have ever heard you say." Here's a calling card.

House Calls?

Today I received an email from something called BlackDoctors.org. So far it just looks like a search engine. But I have to wonder what the ultimate goal of a site like that is. I understand wanting to support your local black doctors if they aren't getting enough play. But when I've met a good doctor I usually look at their ethnic background last. I wish there were a site called "NiceDoctors.org" or "UnhurriedDoctors.org" or even "LaughingDoctors.org". My favorite MDs have been calm, cool and intentionally funny.

Here is where I have to give a shout to Kaiser Permanente doctors Victoria Wakeley and Claire Fuller at the Pasadena Facility and Dr. Caligari at Sunset. So far, they are the coolest of the bunch. Yes, they are all women, but that's not what I paid attention to first. And, yes, two of them are black, but that's not a big deal to me either. They were attentive and interested in their work. They really want to be doctors. I think that's what counts.

Now that's funny

Perhaps you've noticed the google ad at the top of the page.

Maybe the ad isn't the same for everyone, but when I opened my blog today I saw an ad for photos of black singles. As if everyone looking at the site written by a black woman is (a) interested in meeting singles at all or (b) focussed on only meeting black people.

For the record, I have never discriminated. Also, I am so not looking. I have a totally hot husband who is more culturally like me than anyone I've ever met from any ethnic background.

Demographic-busting takes a lot of work, but somebody's got to do it.

Beyond Sistagirl

Because I am not Southern, although Badu speaks to me, because I was born in the Bronx and never learned double dutch, because I attended a private school and tend not to use terms like "dog" and "son", I feel compelled to share my experiences.

I abhor the term African-American because every American is an African-American when you look far back enough into history. I think that separating black people out of American culture in that way is detrimental to the further develpoment of the society as a whole. Don't get me wrong, there is still racism and I think affirmative action and things like that are still necessary. I also think that there is no American culture without recognizing the contributions of people of African descent. I just think that if black people don't start claiming this country as our own as much as anyone else with ancestry in this country does, we will continue to be seen as lesser citizens.

I guess this is my opening statement. More to come.